Chris Brown's Bowtie Breaks Its Silence

While trying to re-locate the hilarious blue ass bowtie on google, I stumbled across THIS

Larry King's Suspenders: Thank you for being here. I know this cannot be easy.

Chris Brown's Bow Tie: No doubt. I can't say that I am not in knots about doing this interview but Chris said he knew how Larry felt about accessories so here I am.

Larry King's Suspenders: I think the first question on people's minds will be "Why?" As in, "Why the hell is Chris Brown wearing a cornflower blue bow tie in this interview?"

CB's Bow Tie: I can tell you this, bow ties are a symbol of a respectable gentleman. I have family in the Nation of Islam, they always taught me that us bow ties brought a distinguished look to our wearers. Well not like Miss Jay wears them, but you know what I mean. As for my color, well I am who I am, and cornflower blue is a very calming color. Chris was trying to give off a calm vibe to viewers.

LK's Suspenders: All right let's cut to the chase. What did you hear about the infamous night in question? We know you weren't there but what did you hear from say a belt that was with him that night?

CB's Bow Tie: Um, well I don't want to say since I wasn't there. I was in a closet at his crib, chillin'. I'd only recently been purchased by his stylist.

LK's Suspenders: OK, so what have you learned about Chris since you have been with him?

CB's Bow Tie: Chris is cool, I guess. He definitely knows how to coordinate, I mean look at the sweater below me.

LK's Suspenders: Let's be honest. We saw what happened to Rihanna, has Chris been abusive to you?

CB's Bow Tie: Nah, uh what do you mean?

LK's Suspenders: Has Chris Brown abused you physically?

CB's Bow Tie: Well yeah, yanked on me kinda hard but I deserved it . . . I wasn't straight with him.

LK's Suspenders: So, you think that you deserved this kind of abuse? There have been time's when Larry's snapped me, but it was all in good fun. Does Chris ever cross the line? Because if he does that's a problem.

CB's Bow Tie: I know, I know . . . but I have to be straight. That's my job.

LK's Suspenders: Well we know that Chris is not allowed to have any contact with Rihanna, but have you had any contact with Rihanna's accessories? Whose side are you on?

CB's Bow Tie: Nah, man. I support Chris 100%. I protect his neck.

LK's Suspenders: Finally, do you plan on being by Chris's side during his community service?

CB's Bow Tie: Well, I will always support Chris but I only do upscale affairs. He has a fly orange jumpsuit and matching Orioles fitted for that.

LK's Suspenders: Thanks, Bow Tie.

CB's Bow Tie: No, thank you Suspenders.


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